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A CONVERSATION
WITH A RAT
Part 1 – “The Rat Appears”
By Craven Morehead |
The
history of the Rattz is somewhat of a “mystery. The true story behind the
Rattz, their accomplishments and the even their original members, is a little unclear.
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a few of the surviving members of the original “Rat-Pack”
in an attempt to separate fact from fiction and hear the tale of these dubious characters. Although nobody was quite
able to pinpoint the exact date or place the Rattz originated, all agreed, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of
times."
The
early morning fog was just beginning to clear, somewhere in the Heartland of America. The boys were starting to wander about and shake off the effects of a hard fought game the
day before. As usual, they had won. As
usual, they then drank. All foggy eyed and horse, they began to recount the events
of the night before. This is where it got a little sketchy…there
were stories of free beer, something about three ugly sisters in swim suits (one with a horrible growth), a room with women
as far as the eye could see, and something about a punching camel? Anyways, no
one got hurt and no one got arrested (just barely)…a good night!
Not ones to out stay their welcome, it was agreed that it was time to pack up and head out. As they sauntered to their van they noticed something strange on the front of the van. It was a RAT…not just any rat…an ANGRY RAT. Nothing
was said. They all knew what they had to do.
It was fate that brought that rat to them and it was that rat that would lead them to the place they needed to
go. Away they went.
They
rambled on down the highways of the Heartland with that damn rat leading them every inch of the way - fists clenched and sporting
a real sinister smile. He was leading them on a mission, a mission they
would not soon forget ...to be continued
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A CONVERSATION WITH A
RAT
PART II - "A Couple of Brother’s Snortin’ Rye"
By Craven Morehead
Our fearless leader took one glance back to see that the troop was fading, fading fast.
In order to salvage day three he would have to act quickly. The Rat knew there was only one place to go. He said nothing but
simply turned slowly, grit his teeth and prepared to take these men to toward their destiny. (This look was too much for some
as half of the group decided that they were not up for this challenge and the sped off into the distance) |
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It wasn’t long before the van pulled off the highway and rolled to a stop in front
of a little unassuming lounge. The Rattz looked at each other wondering what they were doing here. Just then the Rat climbed
down from his perch and strutted through the front door. Moments later he emerged sporting a sinister grin as he told us we
had arrived! |
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As the Rattz entered the lounge they looked around attempting to adjust to the darkness.
As the room unfolded before them they saw that their were only two patrons at the bar, a jukebox and pool table...perfect!
They had all they needed...except for one thing...ceasars! Suddenly through the kitchen door appeared the owner of this little
piece of heaven. Let’s call her..."Randy’s Mom". In no time she had the pitchers of ceasers flowing and the deep
fryer crackling. Could it get any better? Well yes it could. From the far end of the bar came a Rat-like chant - let’s
snort rye!...let’s snort rye!... Huh? Snort rye? Without a blink this little Rat grabbed himself a nose full of heaven.
It was just about this time that the two bar patrons started to understand something special was happening here. They had
a decision to make. Sit on the sideline or get in the game. Well it appears that these "Brothers" had game! They stepped up
to the bar and get themselves a snout full of rye. Just a couple of Brothers snortin’ rye. Without notice there was
a mention of a dead rat and without hesitation the entire group was on the deck searching for one of their fallen comrades.
Nobody was to be found so they all got back to their feet and back to business. |
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The recollection of next couple of hours was a little vague but there was mention of a wide-eyed replacement
bartender and bunch of Rattz at dressed up on their finest Rat-suits. The party was now in full swing and that damn Rat just
sat at the end of the bar grinning from ear to ear...this was what day three is all about. |
